Peace

I thought that I had found peace in you..
A future that I was looking forward too..
You had me convinced that everytime we made love..
It was about bettering us..
The way that you looked into my eyes..
I was yours everytime..
You had me thinking that we were building a foundation..
This white house with the white fence was a temptation..
A verbal agreement to lose myself..
And with every kiss.
I lost a part of myself..
The part of me that wanted marriage..
You gave me a plan..
Told me what I needed to be..
But stated you love me for me..
I almost lost my voice..
A part of me.. That I needed the most..
You sold me a dream..
Of how you were changed..
And how nothing will be the same..
If we stayed on the same page..
We would be okay..
You forgot about telling me the fineprint..
I have to listen..
Be submissive..
Like you're the priviledge..
Like you're the mission..
And I almost bought that shit..
Thinking that this love was different..
That the way you hugged me..
The way you showed me that you loved me..
Would replace the way you treat me..
The way you said you needed me..
The way you silenced me..
Failed to acknowledge me..
Failed to see the partner in me..
You wanted authority..
You wanted someone who stuck with the plan..
The ultimate man..
And with every kiss..
And with every list..
With everytime you brought things..
Treated me like I was delicancy..
The way you devoured me..
Everytime I came.. You took the power from me..
You kissed me ever so sweet..
Grabbed me closer.. Make it so hard for me to retreat..
Painted this beauitful pictue infront of me..
That it became all that I could see..
Thinking this is a fair trade..
And when the colors began to fade..
You promised me that everything will be okay..
You brought more color into my life.. For me to paint..
While I'm not noticing that it's the life that you engraved..
The life that you paved..
You provided peace with stipulations..
And with each time there was penetration..
You came..
I envisioned me having your last name..
You saw..
I envisioned you being my all..
You conquered..
I envisioned having your son or daugther..
You took my peace and gave me your version.. And somehow.. I almost myself with every smile..
The times that I cried..
And you told me everything would be aright..
Every time..
You stayed on my mind..
And peace was fleeting..
I say you as my happy ending.. That's what I'm seeing..
But I'm realizing peace is what I'm really needing..
So I have to leaving..
I'm grieving..
The peace you gave to me..
But losing the peace within myself is not what I need..
Peace..