Vulnerability

This seems dangerous for me..
To show complete vulnerability..
Admit that I can Love you in any capacity..
I love the way you mentally stimpulate me..
Knowing that this could potentially..
Break Me..
Telling you this could geninuely..
Take Me..
As I cry when I write this..
The tears serve as positive affirmations..
That I can feel pain..
And I can't take being hurt again..
I try to open up about past experiences..
Triggering moments..
I devoted myself to the wrong ones..
I guess you win some and you lose some..
And I apologize if this poem doesn't rhymne..
It's just depressing thoughts that run through my mind..
I don't know what love is..
Unlike other people.. I pride myself on being honest..
This poem was supposed to be about love..
But Fuck it.. I'm an emotional thug..
These tears got me so fucked up.. Periodt..
Save it..
So yes, I'm toxic..
I replaced love with lust.. So I sin..
I'm sinner who wants redemption..
My past transgressions..
My sinful lessons..
We all could use some direction..
So when you ignore me..
With no warning..
Stop trying..
You can't see crying..
If I make a effort.. to be there..
To show you that I truly care..
Be honest with me..
Tell me that I'm not a priority..
Don't string me along..
Tell me what's wrong..
Give me the benefit..
And give me a chance to fix it..
So we can be friends again..
Love is inevitable..
I just hate to be exposed..
I hate being vulnerable..

Girl Like Me

You know what being a good girl has got me..
Nothing but heartache.. Bad Memories..
So I joined the Bad Girls club.. Stacked up bodies..
I attract good guys with my toxic abilities..
And being a good girl entices assholes with narcissist tendencies..
I can't win for losing..
And when these niggas be choosing..
I just want to be loved for being a girl like me..
Manifest me..
At 1:11.. Think of me..
So I wait patiently..
For love to be effortlessly..
But that's not what you want.. Not sure of what you need..
So I have to create this false identity..
Pretend to match your energy..
Care only about my looks..
Be like the women that you like on facebook..
Pretend I'm just like these insecure bitches..
Be like the hoes that you see on social media who want attention..
Be like the girls who pictures you like on the gram..
I refuse to be anything other than who I am..
Tweet like the girls who are clearly your type..
Pretend that you're always right..
Be submissive..
Baby I'm realistic..
Men are so ridiculous..
Still looking for rhinestones when you have diamonds in your face..
I can't relate..
Overlook a real women for these bitches.. Are you kidding me..
Constantly saying that you want a girl like me.. Seriously..
But me and the other girls don't compare..
I'm rare..
I'm a ride or die..
I'm honest.. And I can't lie..
I will try..
To make you smile even when you make me cry..
I'll be your biggest fan..
True supporter.. Do whatever I can..
To be loyal to the end..
Trust you..
Love you..
When you don't even love yourself.. Genuine..
I'll be your best friend..
But you don't deserve me..
Because you ignore me..
You gone make a hoe outta of me..
So you get the toxic me..
Via tweets..
Sneaky links..
You complain that all girls are the same..
No accountability.. constantly blame..
Everyone.. Anyone.. That listens..
Look in the mirror.. And in those frequent visits..
Ask yourself do you deserve a girl like me.. And if the answer is no.. Then change the image..
Be honest about your feelings..
Because honestly..
To deserve a girl like me..
You gone have to prove that you're worthy of me..