The Imperfect Life of A Perfect Stranger...

........ Soul Searching ........
Know That My Life Isn't Perfect..
I Question.. Alot of My Decisions..
Personal Talks With Myself.. Asking Myself.. What's Missing..
Life..
People..
Things..
Obstacles..
Finding a Balance..
For Loving Me.. And Trying To Be Loveless With My Actions..
Looking For Self-Satisfaction..
The Memories..
I Remember Them.. Like They Were Yesterday..
I Smile..
I Frown..
I Cry..
Know That I'm Trying..
Feel Like The Real Me.. Is Always Hiding..
The Pleasure..
The Passion..
The Pain..
I've Felt..
It All..
And I've Hung My Head High..
Even When I Just Want To Break Inside..
When Praying is Enough..
Sticks and Stones.. Will Never Hurt Me.. I've Forced My Self To Be Tough..
Your Words.. Are Just That.. Words..
Things.. That Comes Out Of Your Mouth.. I Hear You.. Yes I've Heard..
I'll Never Claim Not To Have Flaws..
And Yes.. I've Built These Walls..
To Separate The Lies From The Truth..
And Even If I'm Perfect To You..
Know That I'm Not Innocent..
Nor Am I Heaven Sent..
You Sense So Much Confidence In The Things That I Say..
But Know At Times.. I Am Afraid..
Depression..
Comes Before My Aggression..
Which Lead Me To Push You Away.. You May Not Understand..
So When You Say You'll Always be Here.. I Can Reach Out and Grab Your Hand..
It's So Hard.. To Depend On Anyone..
I'm So Used to Being Alone.. Just Being Me..
I'm My Worst Enemy..
Nobody Will Judge Me..
Criticize Me..
Worse Than The Person In The Mirror.. Looking Back At Me..
So With Every Compliment..
Of How I Look So Innocent..
Of How I'm So Pretty.. To Attractive..
Not To Be Getting Total Satisfaction..
From Whoever..
And Why Am I Single.. When I Could Be Together..
With Anyone..
And How Come..
More So Can.. I Keep It Real..
Totally Disregarding How Anyone Feels..
And For Those Who Oppose..
With My Lifestyle.. Fuck You.. Yes I'll Be That Asshole..
I'll Be The Person Who Speaks Their Mind..
Truthfully.. Than Be A Mute.. Not Inclined..
Treating Friends and Foes With The Same Privileges and Equal Opportunities..
And While Other People Are Constantly Changing.. I Will Always Remain The Same Me..
The Me That You Love.. Or Hate..
Regardless When You Look Me In My Face..
Look Into My Eyes..
You Will Respect Me.. Because You Know That Your Opinions.. Will Never Be My Demise..
And When Everyone Sees..
My Full Potential.. It's Still Not Clear To Me..
And Maybe That's Because I Still Have A Lot of Growing To Do..
A Lot More Trials and Tribulations.. To Go Through..
And Their Were Times When I Feel Like I Just Need to Give Up.. Quit While I'm Ahead..
When I Should Be Using My Faith.. I'm Using My Doubts Instead..
Times When I Feel Like My Flaws.. Will Never Let Me Truly Live..
And When It's Easier To Forget.. It's So Much More Harder To Forgive..
And Then I Want To Move On..
I Want These Feelings Of Defeat To Be Gone..
So Whatever Happens.. Today..
I May Cry.. But When I Wake Up Tomorrow.. I Think Of It As A Second Chance.. So I Wake Up Everyday..
Laying It All To Rest..
All of The Problems.. That Triggers The Stress..
Whatever Causes Me To Feel Like I'm Not Blessed..
It's My Own Insecurities..
That Causes Me To End Up In The Same Situation.. I Try To Change.. But I Always Find Myself Back At Square One.. Back To The Old Me..
I've Been Running All Of My Life.. Away From Things.. People.. And Places..
Never Had The Chance to Slow Down.. Or Stop.. I'm Always Running The Same Races..
And I Always End Up.. Dead Last..
It Started With Me.. Running Away From My Past..
And If You Know Me..
The Real Me..
You Know My Struggle.. My Journey..
I Hope That You Understand That I'm Not Perfect.. I Too Am Filled Will Anger..
I Guess It's Just The Imperfect Life of A Perfect Stranger..