#WAP

I've been told that my.. you know..
Might be made of gold..
If you ask him..
He'll tell you that He's trying to go platium..
Fucking with me..
You know the stories that you read..
Fantasizing about a freak..
To Fulfill your every need..
One who makes you weak in the knees..
A porn star in the sheets..
Queen in the streets..
With that Purr that Puts you to sleep..
Sex that makes gets you weak in the knees..
Kitty so wet that you can swim in..
I'm geninuely like no other woman..
Head Game out of this world..
Fucks you like she's your girl..
I love how I taste..
And I know you would love it all over your face..
I stand behind my product because I test it..
I love sex and I'm so invested..
Everyone thinks that they can handle it..
And I love a fucking challenge..
I don't do this for my benefit..
Ever had an out of body experience..
Thats what its like with me..
Creating these eleborate fantasies..
I want you to have fastbacks.. Everytime our eyes meet..
I want you to tell me how much you need it..
How much you want to eat it..
I love how this pussy affects your breathing..
Tell me not to stop..
Whispering in your ear thats you're the only one..
Until you cum..
I will look dead in your eyes..
And Tell you to come inside..
Me..
I'm nasty..
Can't tell me I'm satisfactory..
I go above and beyond to please you..
Take my time and tease you..
Have you anticipating the time that we'll be alone..
I'm observant, I notice what makes you moan..
Talk nasty to me.. You can be yourself around me..
I notice when your breathing varies..
Baby.. Come sit down and relax..
When was the last time that you truly climax..
I will look you in your eyes while your soul is leaving you body..
If you're not afraid.. Then come and see about me..

Sex Dreams

I cant stop thinking about you
It's like I constantly dream about you
And when I'm awake, my reality and fantasies collide
Honestly, I dont mind
The reality is that you're not mine
But the fantasies feels real each time
I'm conflicted
Because I shouldn't be interested
But the more that I'm intrigued
I realize that it's you that I need
When I close my eyes.. I see the perfect opportunity
To have you next to me
The way that you look at me
The touches, the hugs, making love
Seems so real
All you have to say.. is come here
But you won't.. so in my dreams when you appear
I take advantage of your lips
While you grab my hips
And we kiss
The way you grab my face
I imagine how good your tongue taste
The way you say my name between breaths
While you lick my neck
And suck on my breast
The way you feel when you slide into
The slight moans you make I'm trying to kiss you
Nothing else matters but us
With each thrust
I can feel the passion
The reality will never be as good in any form or fashion
I don't even know why I try
But when I look in your eyes
I imagine that I can see the lust for me
The unintentionally touching
Signals dopamine
Visions of you pleasuring me
Damn these sex dreams

Anticipation

Last night I had a dream about you..
The universe must know how I feel about you..
It was so vivid..
The shower.. The kitchen..
I could feel the sexual tension..
I woke up in cold sweats..
Got me feeling so wet..
The Anticipation of our sex..

Lets me know that the vibe is so real..
Your voice.. Gives me butterflies..
My heart skips a beats when I stare into your eyes..
You're so passionate when you speak..
Wishing that you could share some of that passion with me..
I want now.. I dont care who has next..
Loving the slight flex..
When we talk about the anticipation of our sex..

I geninuely hope that you're worth it..
Because you make me nervous..
I tend to hide my feelings but when they do surface..
I need to feed my curiousity.. I'm curious about us..
I think it's your conviction..
Maybe it's the uncertainty of your intentions..
My heart seems think you're different..
My body doesn't care to listen..
It just wants you.. You've peeked my interest..
And when our thoughts and feelings become complex..
Nothing beats the anticipation of our sex..

Apart of me wants to take it slow..
The other part of me what to just go with the flow..
And enjoy the show..
I'm not a patient person but you got waiting..
Hestiating..
My heart and my body constantly debating..
To give you a chance..
I mean it just depends.. Loving the romance..
Will you treat me right..
Will you put up a fight..
Give it up easily or struggle..
Either way.. I'll always love you..
Even if I'm your future or your ex..
I'll still be the one in anticipation of our sex..

Good bye Love

This will be the last time.. I speak on you..
The last time.. I think of you..
The funeral was beautiful..
The kinds words that I spoke about you were meaningful..
The tears that I cried for you..
The conversations I saved just to think of you..
Erasing our messages was peaceful..
Exchanges from you that gives me butterflies..
Were all built on lies..
The times that we vibed..
The tears that I cried for you..
The times that you made me cry..
Walking on eggshells..Trying not to challenge the lies..
Afraid to hear the word goodbye..
If they ever escape your lips..

Realizing that I'm settling for less..
Not knowing I would have to pick out a black dress..
And Think about all the beautiful moments..
The beautiful flowers that you sent everytime you fucked up..
You brought red roses when you cheated..
So I brought black roses for the bereavement..
You always planted seeds..
Some of truths, other of doubts that turned into weeds..
Not knowing that my garden had a snake..
You fed me bullshit and with every bite that I take..
Satisfied my hungry soul..
Knowing that I would believe every lie that you told..

You sit there while people speak so highly of you..
Smile while in the back of my mind.. I despise you..
Pretend to cry behind my dark shades..
Thoughts of you will no longer occupy my mental space..
As I watch people who I thought were our friends contantly take your side..
Provided your alibi..
For you to break the trust that I had..
Each night..
You stayed out and pretending that everything will be alright..
You just need space to breathe..
Thought I would leave..
This toxic triangle of us..
And maybe there was no one but I can't ignore your lust..
As I prepare to give the euology..
I wonder if I ever meant anything to you and everytime that you said you loved me..
I believed you..
So because of this.. I have to grieve you..
I thought that I needed you..
For every passionate kiss.. Every cry..
Goodbye..
And those reassuring hugs..
It's Goodbye My Love..

Dedicated to my Mommy..

Evangelist Betty King
Feburary 05, 1951 - May 08, 2021

You used to say that we will miss you when you're gone..
Our house will never again feel like home...
In memory of...
I miss your love...
I miss your lessons...
The many questions...
Your laughter...
The kisses that you always wanted and asked for...
The patience you displayed...
The Chinese movies you loved to play...
The little things...
The joy you bring...
The way you called my phone...
Motivating me when I felt alone...
The way you would sing to me...
The peace you gave to me...
Your innocence...
Your unconditional love for us...
The voice messages you left me...
The times you would lay with me...
You helped me fight my many battles with anxiety...
The way you smelled...
The way you would say "Jesus would always prevail..."
I love you...
The role model you grew up to be...
The way you always took care of me...
Your beautiful voice...
The harmonies we would sing on our drives from work...
The Sunday's reserved for church...
The days where we would just lay around and be lazy...
You would say, "No matter how old you are, you will always be my baby..."
You were one of my closet friends...
I can still hear your "Praise the Lord and Amen..."
I still can feel your presence and energy...
Telling me that you will always be with me...
Even on Earth... We could all see your halo...
I will always love and cherish you...
I hope that God is up there taking care of you...
I know Mommy that God has gained another angel...
-Your baby girl, Nina B

Vulnerability

This seems dangerous for me..
To show complete vulnerability..
Admit that I can Love in any capacity..
I love the way you mentally stimpulate me..
Knowing that this could potentially..
Break Me..
Telling you this could geninuely..
Take Me..
As I cry when I write this..
The tears serve as positive affirmations..
That I can feel pain..
And I can't take being hurt again..
I try to open up about past experiences..
Triggering moments..
I devoted myself to the wrong ones..
I guess you win some and you lose some..
And I apologize if this poem doesn't rhymne..
It's just depressings thoughts that run through my mind..
I don't know what love is..
Unlike other people.. I pride myself on being honest..
This poem was supposed to be about love..
But Fuck it.. I'm an emotional thug..
These tears got me so fucked up.. Periodt..
Save it..
So yes, I'm toxic..
I replaced love with lust.. So I sin..
I'm sinner who wants redemption..
My past transgressions..
My sinful lessons..
We all could use directions..
So when you ignore me..
With no warning..
Stop trying..
You can't see crying..
If I make a effort.. to be there..
To show you that I truly care..
Be honest with me..
Tell me that I'm not a priority..
Don't string me along..
Tell me what's wrong..
Give me the benefit..
And give me a chance to fix it..
So we can be friends again..
Love is inevitable..
I just hate to be exposed..
I hate being vulnerable..

Girl Like Me

You know what being a good girl has got me..
Nothing but heartache.. Bad Memories..
So I joined the Bad Girls club.. Stacked up bodies..
I attract good guys with my toxic abilities..
And being a good girl entices assholes with narcissist tendencies..
I can't win for losing..
And when these niggas be choosing..
I just want to be loved for being a girl like me..
Manifest me..
At 1:11.. Think of me..
So I wait patiently..
For love to be effortlessly..
But that's not what you want.. Not sure of what you need..
So I have to create this false identity..
Pretend to match your energy..
Care only about my looks..
Be like the women that you like on facebook..
Pretend I'm just like these insecure bitches..
Be like the hoes that you see on social media who want attention..
Be like the girls who pictures you like on the gram..
I refuse to be anything other than who I am..
Tweet like the girls who are clearly your type..
Pretend that you're always right..
Be submissive..
Baby I'm realistic..
Men are so ridiculous..
Still looking for rhinestones when you have diamonds in your face..
I can't relate..
Overlook a real women for these bitches.. Are you kidding me..
Constantly saying that you want a girl like me.. Seriously..
But me and the other girls don't compare..
I'm rare..
I'm a ride or die..
I'm honest.. And I can't lie..
I will try..
To make you smile even when you make me cry..
I'll be your biggest fan..
True supporter.. Do whatever I can..
To be loyal to the end..
Trust you..
Love you..
When you don't even love yourself.. Genuine..
I'll be your best friend..
But you don't deserve me..
Because you ignore me..
You gone make a hoe outta of me..
So you get the toxic me..
Via tweets..
Sneaky links..
You complain that all girls are the same..
No accountability.. constantly blame..
Everyone.. Anyone.. That listens..
Look in the mirror.. And in those frequent visits..
Ask yourself do you deserve a girl like me.. And if the answer is no.. Then change the image..
Be honest about your feelings..
Because honestly..
To deserve a girl like me..
You gone have to prove that you're worthy of me..