Nothing to Me

I despise you..
Because I geninuely tried with you..
I did everything that a woman could do..
To show you..
I was different..
It was useless.. Because only you benefitted..
You had all the power..
You chose to be the coward..
Who ran from responsbilities..
Claimed that you needed me..
But yet the way you treated me..
Like I was never good enough..
Replaced my trust..
So I don't give a fuck..
Brought me to the lowest point in my life...
The strife..
And then you condemned me for staying..
Saying.. That it's no point in waiting..
Wasting my time debating..
That you will eventually be the man that I need..
Forced me to concede..
Tried to make me the bad guy..
In everyone who would listen's eyes..
Put up this front.. That we were good..
Saying dumb shit like "Whats known between us doesn't have to be understood."
Giving very much condescending..
Threw stones when you dwelled in this glass house..
Sold me dreams that you were the perfect spouse..
And everytime that you opened your mouth..
Lies fell out..
You tip toed around the truth..
When I got used to..
Honesty..
The promies.. of Loyalty..
I fell for every lie..
You painted me..
As this grateful partner.. Selfishly..
Forgetting the time and months you stole from me..
Behind closed doors you were a monster..
A serial killer of my spirit.. A regular Domner..
I used to often think about the house we created..
Made me belive that love meant toxic and it was all somehow related..
But I found out later that this was always your image..
Your gimmik...
That you sold..
Spun a web of gold..
Tricked me to appreciate this bullshit because to you, our love was your greatest treasure..
And conditioned me to believe that I would never find better..
And I brought it.. Hook.. Line.. And Sinker.. Facts..
You took me to such a negative space...
Spat in my face..
Made it your priority to make me miserable..
So for that I am forever grateful..
You exposed to me to the fake shit..
Forced me to accept the snake shit..
Now when I look at you..
I seen nothing but a waste..
Just a place holder.. in the wrong place..
I gave you too much authority..
I made you a priority..
But never again..
No, I don't need a friend..
I don't need closure.. I just need this to end..
It took so long for me to finally open my eyes and see..
That you finally mean nothing to me..