In Your Arms

Nothing could ever prepare me for this..
I've never expected it to be this intense..
Every expected I would feel it on this magitude..
And if you're the person that I chose..
How can you make these feelings last..
I've had these feelings in the past..
This is nothing new..
But if these feelings are true..
I question if you feel then too..
When I'm in your arms..
The feelings are getting stronger..
And I try to find ways to make this feelings last longer..
Am I safe with you..
Why do I crave you..
Why are you perfect for me..
Why is it your energy..
That I need..
Why am I content with your hugs..
Is this really love..
Is that why the feelings are so strong..
You feel like a drug..
Your love..
I just a little to get me through the day..
I hang on to every word you say..
Nothing has ever prepared me for these feelings..
And it has become my mission..
To never lose these feelings..
Baby I need you listen..
Do you need me.. Like I need you..
I need to see you..
I have to be with you..
Feel you.. Be in your arms..
What is going on?
I'm in a different space..
I don't have any time to waste..
When I'm in your arms..
Think what can possibly go wrong..
If I just stay in your arms..
When you hold me..
Peace..
Complete silence..
I seek solce..
In your arms.. your hands..
Touching me.. Understand this..
Whatever your plans it..
Just let it be in your..
Presence..
In your existence..
In an instance..
I think back to your embrace..
My face..
On your chest..
And with the world being at civil unrest..
With all the chaos and violence..
And if we're being honest..
Will you listen..
Will you pay attention..
To my heart beating for you..
The world is so cruel..
Will I be safe in your arms.. with you..

25 Reasons

You ask me how do I know if I love you..
And since because I do..
Doesn't work and you insist..
I sat down and made a list..
25 reasons why I love and it goes as such..
25.. I love your touch..
24.. I love the way you look at me..
23.. I love your energy..
You're my peace..
I can trust you..
22.. I love how you handle me..
21.. You showed me how to cope with my anxiety..
20.. You allow me to be the best version of myself..
You care about my mental health..
You don't judge me..
You just love me..
19.. You love me and my imperfections..
I love our connection..
18.. When I'm around you.. I have your full attention..
And when I feel lost and in need of direction..
17.. You feel like home..
And I miss you when you're gone..
You make it so easy to love you..
And with the stuff that other people put me through..
16.. I never have to doubt your intentions..
Falling in love with you was the best decision..
15.. When I think of us.. I envision..
A family.. Being a wife and having your children..
14.. You are my peace..
The way that you say you need me..
13.. You make my heart complete..
I can wake up everyday to that face..
12.. You gave me grace..
Knowing that I've been hurt previously..
11.. I love your consistency..
I never have to wonder with you..
10.. And when we make love.. Sigh..
When you ask me.. If you're mine..
And if I ever cry..
You're there to wipe my eyes..
9.. You treat me like a queen..
I often think about marriage and if you ever gave me ring..
And if you ever got down on knee..
Yes, will always be the answer that you seek..
You won't have to question it..
8.. I love the way you smile at me..
The way you hug me..
7.. The way you put on a pedestal..
The way you smell when I'm laying next to you..
6.. The way you listen whole-heartedly when I speak..
5.. The way you provide for me..
The honesty in your speech..
4.. The way you hold me..
The way you kiss me..
When our lips meet..
3.. The way that I still get butterflies..
When I look in your eyes..
2.. You're still here when times get tough..
And if these weren't enough..
then 1.. Honestly.. has to be..
The way that you love me..

Nothing to Me

I despise you..
Because I geninuely tried with you..
I did everything that a woman could do..
To show you..
I was different..
It was useless.. Because only you benefitted..
You had all the power..
You chose to be the coward..
Who ran from responsbilities..
Claimed that you needed me..
But yet the way you treated me..
Like I was never good enough..
Replaced my trust..
So I don't give a fuck..
Brought me to the lowest point in my life...
The strife..
And then you condemned me for staying..
Saying.. That it's no point in waiting..
Wasting my time debating..
That you will eventually be the man that I need..
Forced me to concede..
Tried to make me the bad guy..
In everyone who would listen's eyes..
Put up this front.. That we were good..
Saying dumb shit like "Whats known between us doesn't have to be understood."
Giving very much condescending..
Threw stones when you dwelled in this glass house..
Sold me dreams that you were the perfect spouse..
And everytime that you opened your mouth..
Lies fell out..
You tip toed around the truth..
When I got used to..
Honesty..
The promies.. of Loyalty..
I fell for every lie..
You painted me..
As this grateful partner.. Selfishly..
Forgetting the time and months you stole from me..
Behind closed doors you were a monster..
A serial killer of my spirit.. A regular Domner..
I used to often think about the house we created..
Made me belive that love meant toxic and it was all somehow related..
But I found out later that this was always your image..
Your gimmik...
That you sold..
Spun a web of gold..
Tricked me to appreciate this bullshit because to you, our love was your greatest treasure..
And conditioned me to believe that I would never find better..
And I brought it.. Hook.. Line.. And Sinker.. Facts..
You took me to such a negative space...
Spat in my face..
Made it your priority to make me miserable..
So for that I am forever grateful..
You exposed to me to the fake shit..
Forced me to accept the snake shit..
Now when I look at you..
I seen nothing but a waste..
Just a place holder.. in the wrong place..
I gave you too much authority..
I made you a priority..
But never again..
No, I don't need a friend..
I don't need closure.. I just need this to end..
It took so long for me to finally open my eyes and see..
That you finally mean nothing to me..

#WAP

I've been told that my.. you know..
Might be made of gold..
If you ask him..
He'll tell you that He's trying to go platium..
Fucking with me..
You know the stories that you read..
Fantasizing about a freak..
To Fulfill your every need..
One who makes you weak in the knees..
A porn star in the sheets..
Queen in the streets..
With that Purr that Puts you to sleep..
Sex that gets you weak in the knees..
Kitty so wet that you can swim in..
I'm geninuely like no other woman..
Head Game out of this world..
Fucks you like she's your girl..
I love how I taste..
And I know you would love it all over your face..
I stand behind my product because I test it..
I love sex and I'm so invested..
Everyone thinks that they can handle it..
And I love a fucking challenge..
I don't do this for my benefit..
Ever had an out of body experience..
Thats what its like with me..
Creating these eleborate fantasies..
I want you to have fastbacks.. Everytime our eyes meet..
I want you to tell me how much you need it..
How much you want to eat it..
I love how this pussy affects your breathing..
Tell me not to stop..
Whispering in your ear thats you're the only one..
Until you cum..
I will look you dead in your eyes..
And Tell you to come inside..
Me..
I'm nasty..
Can't tell me I'm satisfactory..
I go above and beyond to please you..
Take my time and tease you..
Have you anticipating the time that we'll be alone..
I'm observant, I notice what makes you moan..
Talk nasty to me.. You can be yourself around me..
I notice when your breathing varies..
Baby.. Come sit down and relax..
When was the last time that you truly climax..
I will look you in your eyes while your soul is leaving you body..
If you're not afraid.. Then come and see about me..

Sex Dreams

I cant stop thinking about you
It's like I constantly dream about you
And when I'm awake, my reality and fantasies collide
Honestly, I dont mind
The reality is that you're not mine
But the fantasies feels real each time
I'm conflicted
Because I shouldn't be interested
But the more that I'm intrigued
I realize that it's you that I need
When I close my eyes.. I see the perfect opportunity
To have you next to me
The way that you look at me
The touches, the hugs, and making love
Seems so real
All you have to say.. is baby come here
But you won't.. so in my dreams when you appear
I take advantage of your lips
While you grab my hips
And we kiss
The way you grab my face
I imagine how good your tongue taste
The way you say my name between breaths
While you lick my neck
And suck on my breast
The way you feel when you slide into
The slight moans you make I'm trying to kiss you
Nothing else matters but us
With each thrust
I can feel the passion
The reality will never be as good in any form or fashion
I don't even know why I try
But when I look in your eyes
I imagine that I can see the lust you have for me
The unintentionally touching
Signals dopamine
Visions of you pleasuring me
Damn these sex dreams

Anticipation

Last night I had a dream about you..
The universe must know how I feel about you..
It was so vivid..
The shower.. The kitchen..
I could feel the sexual tension..
I woke up in cold sweats..
Got me feeling so wet..
The Anticipation of our sex..

Lets me know that the vibe is so real..
Your voice.. Gives me butterflies..
My heart skips a beats when I stare into your eyes..
You're so passionate when you speak..
Wishing that you could share some of that passion with me..
I want you now.. I dont care who has next..
Loving the slight flex..
When we talk about the anticipation of our sex..

I geninuely hope that you're worth it..
Because you make me nervous..
I tend to hide my feelings but when they do surface..
I need to feed my curiousity.. I'm curious about us..
I think it's your conviction..
Maybe it's the uncertainty of your intentions..
My heart seems to think you're different..
My body doesn't care to listen..
It just wants you.. You've peeked my interest..
And when our thoughts and feelings becomes complex..
Nothing beats the anticipation of our sex..

Apart of me wants to take it slow..
The other part of me what to just go with the flow..
And enjoy the show..
I'm not a patient person but you got waiting..
Hestiating..
My heart and my body constantly debating..
To give you a chance..
I mean it just depends.. Loving the romance..
Will you treat me right..
Will you put up a fight..
Give it up easily or struggle..
Either way.. I'll always love you..
Even if I'm your future or your ex..
I'll still be the one in anticipation of our sex..

Good bye Love

This will be the last time.. I speak on you..
The last time.. I think of you..
The funeral was beautiful..
The kinds words that I spoke about you were meaningful..
The tears that I cried for you..
The conversations I saved just to think of you..
Erasing our messages was peaceful..
Exchanges from you that gives me butterflies..
Were all built on lies..
The times that we vibed..
The tears that I cried for you..
The times that you made me cry..
Walking on eggshells..Trying not to challenge the lies..
Afraid to hear the word goodbye..
If they ever escape your lips..

Realizing that I'm settling for less..
Not knowing I would have to pick out a black dress..
And Think about all the beautiful moments..
The beautiful flowers that you sent everytime you fucked up..
You brought red roses when you cheated..
So I brought black roses for the bereavement..
You always planted seeds..
Some of truths, other of doubts that turned into weeds..
Not knowing that my garden had a snake..
You fed me bullshit and with every bite that I take..
Satisfied my hungry soul..
Knowing that I would believe every lie that you told..

You sit there while people speak so highly of you..
Smile while in the back of my mind.. I despise you..
Pretend to cry behind my dark shades..
Thoughts of you will no longer occupy my mental space..
As I watch people who I thought were our friends contantly take your side..
Provided your alibi..
For you to break the trust that I had..
Each night..
You stayed out and pretending that everything will be alright..
You just need space to breathe..
Thought I would leave..
This toxic triangle of us..
And maybe there was no one but I can't ignore your lust..
As I prepare to give the euology..
I wonder if I ever meant anything to you and everytime that you said you loved me..
I believed you..
So because of this.. I have to grieve you..
I thought that I needed you..
For every passionate kiss.. Every cry..
Goodbye..
And those reassuring hugs..
It's Goodbye My Love..