In Your Arms

Nothing could ever prepare me for this..
I've never expected it to be this intense..
Every expected I would feel it on this magitude..
And if you're the person that I chose..
How can you make these feelings last..
I've had these feelings in the past..
This is nothing new..
But if these feelings are true..
I question if you feel then too..
When I'm in your arms..
The feelings are getting stronger..
And I try to find ways to make this feelings last longer..
Am I safe with you..
Why do I crave you..
Why are you perfect for me..
Why is it your energy..
That I need..
Why am I content with your hugs..
Is this really love..
Is that why the feelings are so strong..
You feel like a drug..
Your love..
I just a little to get me through the day..
I hang on to every word you say..
Nothing has ever prepared me for these feelings..
And it has become my mission..
To never lose these feelings..
Baby I need you listen..
Do you need me.. Like I need you..
I need to see you..
I have to be with you..
Feel you.. Be in your arms..
What is going on?
I'm in a different space..
I don't have any time to waste..
When I'm in your arms..
Think what can possibly go wrong..
If I just stay in your arms..
When you hold me..
Peace..
Complete silence..
I seek solce..
In your arms.. your hands..
Touching me.. Understand this..
Whatever your plans it..
Just let it be in your..
Presence..
In your existence..
In an instance..
I think back to your embrace..
My face..
On your chest..
And with the world being at civil unrest..
With all the chaos and violence..
And if we're being honest..
Will you listen..
Will you pay attention..
To my heart beating for you..
The world is so cruel..
Will I be safe in your arms.. with you..

25 Reasons

You ask me how do I know if I love you..
And since because I do..
Doesn't work and you insist..
I sat down and made a list..
25 reasons why I love and it goes as such..
25.. I love your touch..
24.. I love the way you look at me..
23.. I love your energy..
You're my peace..
I can trust you..
22.. I love how you handle me..
21.. You showed me how to cope with my anxiety..
20.. You allow me to be the best version of myself..
You care about my mental health..
You don't judge me..
You just love me..
19.. You love me and my imperfections..
I love our connection..
18.. When I'm around you.. I have your full attention..
And when I feel lost and in need of direction..
17.. You feel like home..
And I miss you when you're gone..
You make it so easy to love you..
And with the stuff that other people put me through..
16.. I never have to doubt your intentions..
Falling in love with you was the best decision..
15.. When I think of us.. I envision..
A family.. Being a wife and having your children..
14.. You are my peace..
The way that you say you need me..
13.. You make my heart complete..
I can wake up everyday to that face..
12.. You gave me grace..
Knowing that I've been hurt previously..
11.. I love your consistency..
I never have to wonder with you..
10.. And when we make love.. Sigh..
When you ask me.. If you're mine..
And if I ever cry..
You're there to wipe my eyes..
9.. You treat me like a queen..
I often think about marriage and if you ever gave me ring..
And if you ever got down on knee..
Yes, will always be the answer that you seek..
You won't have to question it..
8.. I love the way you smile at me..
The way you hug me..
7.. The way you put on a pedestal..
The way you smell when I'm laying next to you..
6.. The way you listen whole-heartedly when I speak..
5.. The way you provide for me..
The honesty in your speech..
4.. The way you hold me..
The way you kiss me..
When our lips meet..
3.. The way that I still get butterflies..
When I look in your eyes..
2.. You're still here when times get tough..
And if these weren't enough..
then 1.. Honestly.. has to be..
The way that you love me..

Nothing to Me

I despise you..
Because I geninuely tried with you..
I did everything that a woman could do..
To show you..
I was different..
It was useless.. Because only you benefitted..
You had all the power..
You chose to be the coward..
Who ran from responsbilities..
Claimed that you needed me..
But yet the way you treated me..
Like I was never good enough..
Replaced my trust..
So I don't give a fuck..
Brought me to the lowest point in my life...
The strife..
And then you condemned me for staying..
Saying.. That it's no point in waiting..
Wasting my time debating..
That you will eventually be the man that I need..
Forced me to concede..
Tried to make me the bad guy..
In everyone who would listen's eyes..
Put up this front.. That we were good..
Saying dumb shit like "Whats known between us doesn't have to be understood."
Giving very much condescending..
Threw stones when you dwelled in this glass house..
Sold me dreams that you were the perfect spouse..
And everytime that you opened your mouth..
Lies fell out..
You tip toed around the truth..
When I got used to..
Honesty..
The promies.. of Loyalty..
I fell for every lie..
You painted me..
As this grateful partner.. Selfishly..
Forgetting the time and months you stole from me..
Behind closed doors you were a monster..
A serial killer of my spirit.. A regular Domner..
I used to often think about the house we created..
Made me belive that love meant toxic and it was all somehow related..
But I found out later that this was always your image..
Your gimmik...
That you sold..
Spun a web of gold..
Tricked me to appreciate this bullshit because to you, our love was your greatest treasure..
And conditioned me to believe that I would never find better..
And I brought it.. Hook.. Line.. And Sinker.. Facts..
You took me to such a negative space...
Spat in my face..
Made it your priority to make me miserable..
So for that I am forever grateful..
You exposed to me to the fake shit..
Forced me to accept the snake shit..
Now when I look at you..
I seen nothing but a waste..
Just a place holder.. in the wrong place..
I gave you too much authority..
I made you a priority..
But never again..
No, I don't need a friend..
I don't need closure.. I just need this to end..
It took so long for me to finally open my eyes and see..
That you finally mean nothing to me..