Disappear...

... I Sit By The Window and Stare...
Praying That I Happen to Catch a Shooting Star... And When It Appears... I'll Be There...
I'll Wish For Happiness... I'll Wish For Love... I'll Wish For Peace...
Because I've Prayed For Better Days... And All I Seem to Get is Grief...
I Was Never The One to Chase Waterfalls..
Never Received.. The TLC... That I Need... Never Received... Someone's All...
I'll Wish to Disappear...
And Reappear...
When It's My Time to Love... When It's My Time...
I'm Losing My Mind...
I'm Barely Making It.. Because Aside From... My Struggle.. My Pain.. My Grind...
You'll Never Know I'm Hurting...
Behind... The Jokes... I'm Cursing...
Either That.. Or I'm Cursed...
It Has Me Thinking Back... Like Who Have I Hurt or Done Wrong...
What Have I Done... to be Sitting Here Alone...
Singing This Sad Song... Well Not Really Singing...
Just Listening... As Karma Plays Her Sweet Melody...
Wishing It Was Me... She Was Sparing Me...
And I'm Thinking...
I'm Moving Further and Further Away From Reality...
I Blame It On My Mentality..
Because Physically I'm Here... Mentally...
I'm All Over The Place...
So Afraid to Give The Next Person... The Time... The Opportunity... The Space...
God Knows... I Don't Want to Complete The Circle of Getting Hurt... So I'm Hurting... Not Knowing...
Loving... And Leaving.. Not Needing Your Love.. Not Showing...
A Care...
I Just Wish I Could Close My Eyes...
And Open Them Back Up... And to My Surprise...
All This Could Vanish...
And I Could Actually Stand It...
Stand Love... Want Love... Give Life to The Next... Through My Words... My Kisses... My Hugs...
I Can Give Away My Love...
And Actually Want Too...
Actually Need You...
Instead.. What I Need is For You Not to Fall in Love... Not to Fall.. Not to Trip....
Not to Even Slip...
Not to Cry Me a River...
Your Tears Mean Nothing to Me...
My Words are Like Posion... Slowing Killing You...
And I Could Say I Care... Baby I Do...
But If I Had to Choose I Would Choose Me.. Of Course I Want You Too...
But Disappearing is What I Do Best...
But You Suggest..
That I Stay and Work It Out..
Work On Us... You Swear... That I Always Find Ways.. To Leave You...
Finding Ways to Treat You... Like The Next...
When You've Put Time and Effort into Us...
Begging Me to Get It Off My Chest...
And At This Very Moment... I Wish I Had a Twix... Because I Swear I Need a Moment...
Just a Minute... A Couple Seconds... To Own It...
Own The Night..
Take Back My Life...
Stop This Fight..
Get to The Bottom of The Problem...
All This Arguing.. And We're Not Solving Them...
Knowing That We Both are Wrong... And As Soon As We Find Right...
It Will Be Different...
You Would Stop Tripping...
You Would Listen...
I Wouldn't Want to Disappear... And Come Up Missing...
And Eventually You'll Look For Me...
But You'll Give Up Hope and Stop Looking.. They Always Do... And No Matter How Much You're Telling Me...
You Would Never Stop Loving Me...
They Always Do...
Whether... They Want To...
Or Not...
As Soon as I Walked In.. I Can Walk Out and Be Forgot...
You Can't Tell Me... That You're Not Like Everybody...
You Will Never Change...
I Know The Game...
As Soon As You Feel You Got Me...
The Switch Cuts On...
The Sweet One is Gone..
And The B*tch is Here to Stay...
And I'll Rather Leave You Alone...
Before The A**hole in Me... Rubs You Wrong... Not Purposely... But In Some Kind of Way..
And Here You Go... In My Face...
Now You're Pushing Me Away... Not Giving Me The Chance to Leave...
But Then You Switch... Begging Me To Stay....
So Please Miss Me...
So I Can Truly Disappear...
And Reappear...
And Whatever Trip You On.. Hope You Come Back Permanently...
Instead... You Left The Buiding.. You Come Back to Visit... But The Real You... is On a Permanent Vaca....
And You Want Me To Stay...
If You Can Leave... Why Can't I..
Please Don't Cry...
I Can't Take The Tears..
Don't Remind Me of The Years..
You Was Down For Me...
Stayed Around For Me...
Like I'm a Burden... Like I'm Luggage... That You Carry...
And as Heavy as You Say I Make Your Heart.. You Want to Keep Carrying Me..
Confused... Very..
Much...
F*ck Love...
Not You...
If You Would Let Me Disappear...
And Reappear...
I Could Face You... Want You Near...
Now Just Thinking About You... Makes We Sick to My Stomach... When Did We Get To The Point... How..
I Ask Myself... As I Stare Out The Window.... Thinking What I Need Now...
More Than Anything.. is To Disappear....
*Sighs*